Tuesday morning, please be gone. I'm tired of you.

Here is Journal Two

Suite: Judy Blue Eyes is the opening track of the Crosby, Stills and Nash self-titled debut album, which was released on May 29, 1969 (ten years and one day before I was born).  I always thought this song was called Sweet Judy Blue Eyes and that it was three totally different songs that are played together on the radio in the same way that “We Will Rock You” and “We Are the Champions” are.  I heard this song on my way to work last Thursday morning.  I have heard this song so many times but I have never listened to it with a lover’s ear. 

The first part of the song is very obviously about the songwriter's (Stephen Stills) sadness, uncertainty and insecurity in his relationship with Judy (Collins).  He sings that he is afraid that he is no longer any fun, I assume for him or for her.  He proclaims that he is not leaving her and that he will love her forever.  "I am yours, you are mine, you are what you are" seems to be his mantra throughout the song.  He expresses that he loves her unconditionally, knows her better than anyone and accepts her for who she is, but loving her can be difficult sometimes.  He seems to use the phrase to keep him going, and that it just doesn't seem to be working anymore.  This beginning feels like the end. 

The second part is more or less his accepting that he has to be honest with her about his feelings.  "I've got the answer - I'm going to fly away" seems to be his decision to leave her. Then he invites her to see him, because, what have they got to lose?  He needs to let go but can't.  He wants her to be free but wants to keep her close.  In reality, Judy left Stephen for another man. 

The final part of the song sounds like what freedom should feel like.  Whether or not they like it, they are free.  The chorus is sung in Spanish, and relays that he is sad he can not see her.  "Do do do do do..." is a new mantra for him, as if to say he is free and whether or not he likes it, there's nothing he can do.  She's gone and he can't change that. 

This is an absolutely beautiful song even though the context is very sad. Anyone who has ever experienced the ebbs and flows of a long term relationship can relate to the general theme of this song.  The emptiness you may feel inside of yourself.   The feeling of loneliness even though you are together.   The feeling that you are boring, even if the other person is not bored.  The day to day of everyday life gets you down.  And worst, that if you just flew away, everyone would be better off.  If you are not reminded how much you mean to your partner every once in a while, and vice versa, it is very easy to fall into this sadness.  Forgetting the basic fundamentals of being nice is so easy when you are comfortable with your partner or even your friends.  Send a random card, remember to say please and thank you (and actually mean it), give a good hug and just love with your whole heart.