Rest by this song and the peace that it brings. Beautiful song it has wings. (This Song - Badly Drawn Boy)

There are three songs that I can't bear listen to without crying hysterically - Wind Beneath My Wings, On Eagles Wings and You Are So Beautiful.  During a trip to Giant last week, I just happened to tune in to the overhead music and low and behold, You Are So Beautiful was playing.  All of a sudden, I felt the tears well up and I ripped through my purse, looking for my headphones.  I most certainly did NOT want to turn into a mess of tears and snot in public.  I found my headphones, plugged them into my phone and drowned out the pain with Serve the Servants by Nirvana.  
  
 You Are So Beautiful is extremely sentimental to me.  I still have my mom's original vinyl copy of the album I Can Stand A Little Rain.  My parents used to sing this song to each other and also to me.  Since her passing in 1997, the song made me miss my mom.  Now it makes me miss my dad, who passed away on September  25th.  I really thought that the second time around losing a parent would be a little easier, but it hasn’t been proving to be any easier than before.  I really think it’s because I am older and sober.  The reality of not having parents at all is horrifying.  Not that I saw my dad all the time, but just the knowledge that he was just a call away was comforting.  I feel like I have no one and it’s a very lonely space to live in.  I feel like I have to keep busy and moving despite my utter exhaustion.  I guess I should have let the emotions wash over me that evening in Giant, at least I would have felt something other than numbness.